Again and Agian
by For Those With a Broken Heart
Summary: Heero left her once after admitting something very important. Now he comes back and admits something almost more important than the last time but now he also harbors some bad news...
1. Chapter 1

Again And Again

By Jamie Day

Chapter 1

Don't own Gundam Wing

Relena stood on the balcony overlooking the manmade lake that her father had created as a gift for her 16th birthday. She stared at the luminous moonbeams shining starkly across the dark stillness of the water. It reminded her of Heero. But then it had become and obsession lately to think of him. He was always calm and still until he was provoked to ripples of anger, which Duo had pointed out to her earlier that very day, only seemed to happen when she was in danger. But this realization led to more questions. Once cherished memories of him were now torture. Why didn't he tell me he was leaving? Why won't he come back to me?

She could remember when they used to meet at this very spot. They could sit and talk for hours about everything and nothing. A tear slowly slid down her cheek. Sometimes they would talk about how things should be different for them. Sometimes they talked about how hard it was to live the life fate had chosen for them. At other times they would talk and laugh about how they met and the string of events that followed. They always talked about how much had changed between them. That particular subject always came up but somehow they still didn't seem to know just how much had changed. Not to the full extent, at any rate. By this time her face was flooded with tears that refused to stay locked up. It still hurt to remember their last night talking together and yet it was he fondest memory of him as yet.

Flashback

Heero stood leaning against the railing of the balcony; his head dipped low, hiding his beautiful eyes behind his veil of hair. Relena couldn't help but think of how handsome and mysterious he looked in that particular pose. She couldn't help but admire him for everything he was. It still shocked her when she looked up at him and say him looking back at her. Sometimes she was even blessed with a smile on his perfect face. He would never smile in public but even just the same…when they were alone and she said or did something funny from his point of view he would grace her with a smile that would completely melt her insides. Paying such close attention she almost failed to realize what he was leaning on but when she did she felt a pang of dread within her. "Heero, don't lean against that. You don't know how old that is; what if you fell over the edge? What would I do then?"

Heero looked up at her, surprised. He watched her eyes. She looked genuinely concerned. It astonished him every time he would look up at her and see emotion for him hiding somewhere deep in her eyes. It was a wonderfully redeeming feeling to know that someone still cared about him. He felt even better with the knowledge that the person who cared for him was Relena. His blonde headed angel. The one and only girl he could ever care about now.

"Relena." He whispered emotionally, moving away from the edge. Relena watched with a sense of happy disbelief as Heero gestured for her to come to him. She did as he motioned without taking time to think about it. She barely even took time to think, dreading the thought that if she did this dream would suddenly fly by her and leave her untouched. She stopped toe to toe with him and looked up into his wonderful gray eyes. They were so gorgeous they seemed to take her breath away. Heero heard her startled gasp as he pulled her up into his arms and buried his face in her hair.

He felt only a bittersweet pain from holding her. He never wanted to let her go but he knew that eventually he must. He pulled away from her so they were looking in each other's eyes. They where only inches apart. They stayed this way, enchanted by each other for a while. Suddenly he could stand being so distanced from her no longer and he closed that space and took her mouth in a deep, passionate, gentle kiss. This was a soul-searching kiss. It asked the heart many questions. He pulled away leaving them both panting from the small taste of passion they had just encountered.

He gently nudged her neck with his lips before placing his head on her forehead and looking down at her thinking about what a picture she made. Panting from the experience he had just shared with her, eyes closed, before saying. "Relena, sometimes the heart is smarter than the head. Right now my head says to me be cautious. It tells me not to open myself up to be hurt once again." He nuzzled her cheek up to her ear. "However, this is one of those times." He whispered into her ear, sending tremors racing down her spine. "And my heart whispers to me beseechingly tell her, tell her. And so I will tell you what I believe from the very depths of my soul." He took a deep breath before he plunged in. "Relena, I love you. No, I more than love you. They haven't even made a word that can even begin to describe what I feel for you. They say love happens every day. But not this. Not what I fell for you. It's one of a kind. It's ours and only ours."

Relena felt the tears falling down her cheeks to drop and pool in the hollow groove of her collarbone. "Oh, Heero, I love you, too." He dipped his head down and his tongue tasted her sweet tears as he lapped up the tears from the delicate curve of bone. She cried out and fell back into his arms tears staining his shirt.

He looked down at the top of her head before resting his own head upon hers. "Relena." God, how I love her, he thought.

End Flashback

" Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you had to go? You just left me here. Did you hate me? Please don't say that's true. I used to be mad at you but now I don't care anymore. Just please come back. Please." She whispered falling to her knees and placing her face to the cold cement of the balcony rails before covering her head as more tears fell down her face.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Don't own Gundam Wing

Unknown to the crying girl a shadow in the garden below the balcony watched this heart-wrenching scene. This particular shadow was christened Heero. He had come in the middle of the night to her balcony with the simple wish to see her again. He decided that tonight he would make **_her_** wish come true. He had always been with her though she never knew it. He had watched the change in her. And he hated himself for causing this specific change to be his fault. She used to be so happy and her job wasn't really a job to her but now he noticed her becoming more and more detached every passing day.

All that had changed. She doesn't ever look happy anymore. Even when she smiled she still had sadness hidden behind it. Heero remembered when he came back and saw Releena. That was a year ago. He had left when he was 19 and had returned the next year. He was now 21, his sweet Relena being only one year younger than him. He couldn't talk to her or see her after he saw how much pain he had caused her. How much pain he would cause her...

He thought about this and so much more as he climbed up to her windowsill. But as he climbed through the window he thought about the good things that were yet to come. He was finally going to talk to his wonderful Relena once again. He saw her just then; she was lying down on the bed asleep. She looked so peaceful and angelic as he walked over to her.

He sat down on the edge of her bed and just watched her. She's so damn gorgeous I can't believe everything played out this way. He stayed there for numerate minutes before he decided it was time to wake her. He very gently laid his hand on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered but instead of awakening she moved closer to the touch. He then lowered his head until chiseled lips touched her soft mouth.

When he felt she was about to wake up he stood and took a few steps away. What will she think when she sees me here? Will she hate me? Maybe I should run? That thought was quickly put to an end as she promptly looked up and blinked before bursting into tears and trying hide her face in her hands. She had dreamed this so many times she could not allow herself to think that this time out of so many was reality.

That was the last straw. He couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand the pain he saw in her eyes as she looked upon his face knowing that he had put it there. He and Releena were meant to be together. They shouldn't be separated at all. He took her into his arms as tears fell down his face as well. He couldn't handle seeing the pain he had put her through.

Releena pulled back away from Heero and looked up into eyes that were undoubtedly gray. "Are you real?" She touched his face and cried out as her fingers met warm flesh. She lowered her hand until she could feel his heart beating beneath her hand. 

Heero leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. "Yes, I'm real." He said and she threw herself in his arms and began crying all anew.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Don't own Gundam Wing

Out of a sense of desperation Relena pulled his mouth down to hers. She couldn't stand that he was there and they weren't living the moment to the fullest. She felt as though when she let go of him he would leave her again and it was something she couldn't even begin to think about. In order to solve this problem she decided that tonight she would never let go of him. Heero could feel the panic in her kiss and returned it with a passion meant only for her.

Slowly the kiss became less of an escape of desperate emotions and more of a heated kiss tasting of honey and love. They both got lost. He moved his lips from hers to trail down the slender column of her tempting throat. She arched her neck so he had better access while making small noises in the back of her throat.

He moved his head down to her collarbone where he suckled until she cried out and then moved away to admire his mark that spoke of his possession of her. Relena reached up and touched the tiny mark with her fingers and smiled before Heero moved her fingers out of the way and nipped the mark once more before removing both of their clothes and covering her again.

Heero wanted to give her as much pleasure as he possibly could because not only was this their first coupling but this was also her first time. He kissed her passionately while he slowly moved his hand up the inside of her thigh, marveling at the feeling he had when she opened so readily for him.

He slid his hand up farther and farther until he touched his goal with a feather light stroke and felt her cry out softly in his mouth. He moved away from her so that he could look down on her but never faltered in his sweet torture. Relena could barely focus on anything but this one man. This one man that she had fallen in love with. And then she felt as if she was exploding inside.

Heero held her until the end of her very first climax. When she had stilled he aroused her again. He leaned down to her and bit a trail down her throat to the crest of her perfectly rounded breast where he nipped and bit and sucked on the sweet bud. When he felt she was as ready as he could get her he kissed a path back up to her ear.

He kissed her ear once before whispering sweet nothings to her and telling her that he loved her and that he was sorry for hurting her before and hurting her now. Before Relena could ask her about that last part he started to slowly slide into her and she felt a great pressure as her body moved to accommodate him. He whispered again that he was sorry for hurting her before he gave one great push that broke her maidenhead and officially made her his.

She cried out and lightly bit his neck. He was still for a time trying to be all the patient lover as he allowed her time to get used to him being inside her. She bit again just as softly to let him know she was ready a few moments later. When he started to move she still felt some pressure and soreness but all that faded into the background as the pleasure began to assail her.

Heero set the pace and she followed easily until the moved gracefully as one. Relena listened in fascination to the small cries that escaped her own throat but she listened with adoration to the small guttural sounds he was making. As she pumped into her she felt the need for something although she had no idea what it was she was waiting so anticipatorily for. Until again she felt a pressure inside of her, only this time it was not painful as before, this time it was pure pleasure. And then again, like when he had touched her where there bodies were now joined, she exploded. Only this time it was so much stronger. She felt as if she was rising up to meet the stars.

Heero felt her climax and sought out his own. He went wild when it came to her and this time was no different. His strokes came stronger and faster until his desirous state reached it's peak. He shouted out her name and feel over the edge; spilling like his seed inside her.

Relena fell asleep much later with the feel of him beside her stroking her naked hip with his thumb imprinted upon her memory. But her dreams were not nearly as peaceful as her thoughts before she surrendered herself to their depths.

It was not so easy for Heero to fall asleep and he lay awake with his thoughts to keep him company. He shouldn't have come back. He would only hurt her. This time he would hurt her worse. He had not meant for this to happen. He had only meant to talk to her but when she looked up at him, still so trusting even after what he had done to her, he couldn't help it. He had acted senselessly and she would suffer for it. These were Heero's last thoughts before he fell in a fitful sleep.

Not long after he had finally given in to sleep an ear-piercing scream could be heard. Heero woke up at once. Releena was sitting straight up in the bed. She looked at him and burst out in broken sobs, reaching her hands out to him. He took her into his arms and rocked her for a while before asking her what was wrong. "I just had a dream about you leaving. I love you, Heero. I want to be with you. But it seems that at every turn some one or some thing will always taunt me and tell I cannot keep you."

Heero felt so guilty he wished he were dead at that moment. He got out of bed and started to put his clothes back on. Relena gave him a strange look. "Did I do something wrong, Heero?"

He looked up with such a look of anguish on his face Relena couldn't stand to look at him. She stood and went to him but when she would have taken him into her arms he moved away from her and moved passed her until he was across the room. Once he was at a safe distance away he took a steadying breath and then turned to look at her. "Releena there's something I want to tell you..."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Don't own Gundam Wing

She saw it on his face. She knew what he wanted to say. "No! No! I won't let you! I'll lock all the doors! You can't!" Her voice broke on a sob. She sank back on the bed. Relena was so scared she could feel herself shaking. Tears poured down her cheeks as she found herself cursing him in her head.

Heero felt worse than ever before at that moment. He didn't want to believe that he had come into her room, been the one to take her innocence away from her, and then tell her she would be alone again. "Relena, I'm so sorry. I have to go. They won't let me stay." He reached out to touch her and she jerked away from him as if she were being stung. He paced to the other side of the room. His heart flinched at the idea that this might be it. This might be the end of whatever had only just started the night before.

"How could you? How can you come in here and tell me that you love me and make love with me and then just walk out as if nothing had happened. I can't believe you can be so damn selfish." She screamed at him. All her emotions were in turmoil. "What if I got you out of this one? What if I called them up and told them I needed you to be here as my body guard and they let you stay. I'll say someone left a threatening note."

Heero sighed. "You can't do that, Relena. I can't lie. Not about this. When I come back it will be just us. I swear. I love you, Relena. I've never anyone or anything more in my entire life and now that I know what love is like and what it's like to be loved I couldn't just leave that behind without a second glance. You know that. I love you." Heero felt tears pricking his own eyes. "Please don't force me away now. I have to go. I'm so sorry."

Relena noticed the tears in his eyes but to say so would wound his pride so instead she tried to comfort him in other ways. "Please hold me, Heero." He couldn't believe she was still willing to touch him after what he had done. He raced to the bedside from across the room. He took her up in his arms and his tears spilled over, hoping she wouldn't notice.

"I don't deserve you, Relena. You're too good for me." Any hope that she wouldn't notice was banished at the sound of his voice. He had tears in his throat and he knew it showed when he talked. Heero hugged her so tightly he thought her bones might break but he couldn't seem to make himself let go. "I'm so sorry. I should have told you before."

"Oh, Heero, I love you." She sought to reassure him. "I love you so much."

"Oh, God." He sighed, all his tears gone. "I'm coming back. I'm only going to be gone for five months. But those are going to be a long five months. My god that will seem like eternity without you, my love, now that I've found you."

"Oh, Heero, just make sure you come back to me as soon as you can. I want to spend every moment I can with you. I love you so much." Relena couldn't believe her dream was finally coming true. It was a miracle to her. She was in love and the man she loved, loved her back.

"Relena. When I get back…well, I…I was just wondering…I mean…I don't have much to offer you…at least not as much as I would want to be able to give you…And, well, Relena…" He struggled. He was not planning on this happening but since it had he was elated.

"What is it, Heero?"

"Relena." He took a deep steadying breath. "Will you marry me? Please say you will."

"Oh, my God. Of course I will Heero."

The day Heero left there was one stop to make before he could even consider getting on that plane with his gundam. He climbed into Relena's room the same way he had the other night. Seeing her sleeping in her bed he decided not to wake her. _God, she's so beautiful._ He thought.

He quietly set a small box wrapped in velvet on her bedside table. He grabbed paper and a pen that she had sitting on a desk that was on one side of her room and wrote her a small beautiful letter.

After setting the letter by the box he checked his watch and when he realized he still had an hour before the plane left he gently crawled into bed next to her. She unconsciously moved closer to him but did not wake up. He took her in his arms and watched her sleep for the next forty-five minutes.

When leaving he grabbed up the box and the letter and placed on the pillow his head had rested upon no more that five minutes ago. Then with one last look back for the next five months he climbed back down and ran for the plane he was scheduled to be on in the next ten minutes.

Waking up and covering her yawn with a hand Relena felt a smile begin to curve her mouth. She felt like she hadn't slept that peacefully in decades. Turning her head she realized why. The pillow next to her still had an indent from where no one else but Heero could have slept last night. Inside the indent, however, was what held her interest.

There sat a small box covered in red velvet and a letter. She picked up the box first. She took a deep steadying breath first. She opened the box and gasped, tears coming to her eyes. It was a beautiful diamond ring. The diamond was a gorgeous one that was clear and full. Upon further inspection she found that on the actual band of the next ring it said 'Heero loves Relena' around it.

She felt her tears drop and she couldn't help but feel as if she was the luckiest woman in the world. Remembering herself she picked up the letter next. Opening it she traced the fancy curves of his masculine writing with a fingertip before reading the message.

_My dearest love,_

_I am sorry for how you felt about what happened before but I can't say that I am sorry it happened. Because in the wake of what happened I will now spend the happiest years of my life with the one and only person I could ever love. I left your rings in the box. I hope you like them. _

_I cannot wait until I am back in your arms, watching you sleep, as I was this morning. You are the light to my life, which had been only dark until I was able to tell you that I loved you and feel as though you loved me back. _

_My every waiting thought will be of you until I return. I will miss you ever day, my love. _

_Only yours,_

_Heero_

_P.S. Heero loves Relena!_

She felt fresh tears slip from her eyes as she thought of her sough guy writing her a note like this. Something that was so sentimental. Something that was so loving.

And she wished again that he did not have to leave. But at least now she could look forward to the time when he would come back and they would be married and be able to start a life and a family. A family!

Relena's hands went to her stomach. What if already she had their first little one growing there, beneath her loving hands? Her heart soared. She knew in her heart that it must be true and she promised to love this baby enough for the two of them until he returned.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Don't own Gundam Wing

Five months later while Relena walked out of her office everyone stared at her whispering. Everyone knew she was pregnant. It was hard to hide it by now. If it was just one child it would still be safely concealed but she had found out that she was having twins. The wonderful cliché of one boy and one girl. She had already picked out the perfect names for them. Terra and Tarrise.

She had pictures of them on her fridge. Although the doctors say it's not possible, in the pictures the babies almost look like they're playing patty cake. They were so small. And they were Heero's.

It was hard not to notice and, of course, tongues were wagging. Relena had been the ideal role model up until then. Now she was the exact person that most people don't want their daughters to turn into.

Even knowing this, even hearing about what a horrible person she is from all her friends, she can't bring herself to despise any of her night with Heero. He was the one person who could make her feel safe. Who could make her feel loved. She never wanted anything less than what she had with him.

She knew the truth. She knew that they were in love and that they were going to get married as soon as they could when he came back. That was all that needed to be there. She didn't care what other people thought.

She couldn't wait to tell Heero the great news and to be able to say the babies she could feel beneath her hands were his children too. She would rejoice every day that he was beside her. Every day their beautiful children would keep her company while he was away.

She could not have ever picked a better life for herself. She couldn't wait to start her new life with them. Relena had not yet decided if she still wanted to keep her job. It was a hard decision because thought she loved her job it might be a danger to her children. Not only that but Heero could only protect his family while he was able to be with them.

His bosses would probably not assign him to watch over his own family. Although Relena knew that is what Heero is going to ask as soon as he gets back and they get married. Relena sighed. She couldn't believe they were actually going to start a proper family.

She walked out the door with a smile firmly in place though she knew even that would set the tongues to wagging again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Don't own Gundam Wing

Heero came to her that night. She was sleeping but he knew from experience how to break into her room through her balcony window. He walked over and looked down on her. She looked beautiful. Lying on her side with the blankets pulled up to her chin.

He shook her gently. "Relena." He said her name gently but still she awoke. Her vision was still blurry and all she saw was a figure in front of her. Before she could scream a hand clamped over her mouth. "Relena." He said again.

She stopped her struggles. As her vision cleared she finally noticed that it was Heero in front of her. She cried out and instead of struggling away from him she was struggling to get closer to him around her big belly.

When Heero saw this he pushed her away slightly. "Relena?" He felt stupid for not knowing anything else to say. He looked at her stomach and thought about what it meant. Either she cheated on him, he did not like that idea, or she was pregnant with his child. "Is it mine?"

"You mean, are they yours?" She chuckled. "Yes. Terra and Tarrise, I thought they were pretty names. Can we please keep them?" She asked him. She was so very excited. She was due in two months and her babies' daddy was back. Finally.

"Oh God, Relena. Of course you can keep those names." He threw his arms around her and hugged her gently. He kissed her passionately. "Oh, how I've missed you." She laughed and began to take his shirt off. When his shirt was over his head he looked at her.

"Is it bad?" He said, nodding to her full belly and referring to making love.

"Actually, no. The doctor says that it's good." She gave him a coquettish smile and batted her lashes.

I'm really sorry that this one was so short. It seemed a little forced. I tried to dredge things up from the authors' block of doom. It just didn't want to work with me. I hope it didn't seem bad to you guys. At least it goes with the story I'm telling. Lol.

And they all lived happily ever after,

Queen of Hearts,

Jamie


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Heero stayed awake that night. He couldn't get to sleep if he tried. His mind was so clouded with everything that had happened but there was only one real thought that stayed with him. _I'm going to be a dad…_

_I don't know how to be a dad. I might be so bad at it. I can't do this. _He paused to take a deep calming breath_. Yes, maybe I can…I can try. They're mine. I'm going to watch over two adorable babies and they're going to be mine. My responsibility. How am I ever going to handle this?_

Heero finally got to sleep in the wee hours of the morning after putting all his thoughts to rest. He dreamt about her and the babies. By her he meant Relena.

Sorry it's so firkin short. Guess the cause. Yepp…writer's block. Love all.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Don't own Gundam Wing

Dreaming of his lovely Relena and their beautiful children. He could picture 300 different faces on his children but no matter what face they had they were still sitting in his love's lap.

It felt good to be able to call Relena his. Finally. His and no one else's. And she was having his children. Children that were blossoming from the seed of their love. Children that would bloom to be beautiful with both his features and hers. Something he could only dream of.

When he woke up he realized that there were some things that still needed to be taken care of. He slowly slipped out of bed and over toward a phone in the corner. He made a few calls.

Then he pulled a chair up next to the bed and watched Relena sleep. When she turned toward him to sleep on her side he marveled at how beautiful she looked full of his child. Her stomach peeking out, her breast slightly fuller, ready and waiting for the babies; she was a gorgeous vision.

Almost four hours later at 9:30 a.m. he woke Relena softly with a gentle kiss. He teased her mouth until her eyes opened. "I want you to see something, Relena." Heero said quietly. He walked over and turned on a dusty T.V. that was obviously barely ever touched. A black-haired woman was stating news matter-of-factly. Just then Relena realized what was actually being said.

"I am delighted to report that our lovable Relena Peacecraft is engaged to be married to her long-time love Heero Huey, who has just returned from fighting for her cause…" She went on to state the date, time, and place but the rest of what she said was lost on Relena.

"Oh, Heero, how sweet of you!" She practically jumped on Heero, who was sitting expectantly on the foot on the bed. He didn't mind at all. She kissed him passionately, her swollen stomach pressing into his rock hard abs. "I love you, Heero! I love you so much."

He held her a little tighter if at all possible. "I love you, too, My Lena!" He then put his face in the crook of her neck smelling her sweet scent. He just sat there and for the first time in the longest time he enjoyed the moment.


End file.
